tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-73720185592521006322012-02-11T08:10:12.017-08:00Random thoughts from a self-critical mother of two.Erika Kerekeshttps://profiles.google.com/114583964611074498819noreply@blogger.comBlogger401100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372018559252100632.post-20808168013340407742011-04-05T08:38:00.000-07:002011-04-05T08:38:26.003-07:00

Two years ago today I went back to work after eight years as a stay-at-home mom. Normally I'm terrible with dates - birthdays and anniversaries regularly pass without my noticing. About this anniversary, though, I'm feeling surprisingly introspective. When I went back to work and gave up the role of primary caretaker, it was a huge turning point for both me and the kids. My husband and I were

Erika Kerekeshttps://profiles.google.com/114583964611074498819noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372018559252100632.post-14178833802009122502010-05-28T07:52:00.000-07:002010-05-31T19:13:37.820-07:00

I know it seems as if I've abandoned this space. In my mind, I have not. Issues come up every day about my role as parent, and I want to write about them - I frame them in my mind, give them a headline, explore the arc of the story, think about my grand conclusions. There's a problem. It's very hard to write about parenting and your children when your children read every word you write. On the

Erika Kerekeshttps://profiles.google.com/114583964611074498819noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372018559252100632.post-72329880937040168962009-11-03T21:31:00.000-08:002009-11-03T22:09:34.450-08:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about when, exactly, I developed the confidence to follow my instincts. Or in which ways I have. I was talking to a new parent a few weeks ago who was clearly feeling shaky, new baby in arms, sleep a distant memory, questioning every hiccup and twitch. I couldn't remember whether I felt that way. I must have, but I had the benefit of a pediatrician father (mine, I

Erika Kerekeshttps://profiles.google.com/114583964611074498819noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372018559252100632.post-33573494002732080052009-07-16T12:03:00.001-07:002009-07-16T12:20:00.507-07:00

Last night, for the first time in a while, I had a nightmare in which one of my children was in trouble and I couldn't get to him to help.When my boys were very small, I had a recurring dream in which one of them was underwater, drowning, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't reach him. I would wake up crying, screaming sometimes, heart racing, and there was no way I could get back to

Erika Kerekeshttps://profiles.google.com/114583964611074498819noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372018559252100632.post-44234161962918061212009-06-30T21:26:00.000-07:002009-06-30T22:15:56.449-07:00

I've been back at work almost three months now. And I'm a little surprised to say that I'm really happy. Truthfully, I thought it would be harder settling into a full-time job - and into the role of Working Mom - after eight years as a full-time at-home parent.But it's been remarkably smooth, this transition. It's like riding a bike: I remember how to get up, take a shower, and go to an office. I

Erika Kerekeshttps://profiles.google.com/114583964611074498819noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372018559252100632.post-91715010370351869992009-05-20T21:45:00.001-07:002009-05-20T21:58:21.744-07:00

So I'm almost two months into my job, and it couldn't be going better. The work is interesting, stimulating, challenging. The people are smart, fun, gracious and welcoming. I ride my bike to work. I'm home in time to make dinner for my family most nights. And I'm getting paid.Unfortunately, I believe I have been a bit of a beast to my family.Today W, my seven-year-old, attacked me at the door

Erika Kerekeshttps://profiles.google.com/114583964611074498819noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372018559252100632.post-66979288869449430912009-04-16T20:10:00.000-07:002009-04-16T20:28:42.399-07:00

I. Am. So. Tired.Considering that a) I like my job a lot so far, b) the commute is less than two miles, c) my husband has taken on many of the child-and-dinner duties that previously belonged to me, and d) I've been sleeping okay, I have been surprised at my level of exhaustion by the end of the day over these past few weeks since I started my first full-time job after eight years at home with my

Erika Kerekeshttps://profiles.google.com/114583964611074498819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372018559252100632.post-2993827967696736862009-04-05T21:24:00.000-07:002009-04-05T21:33:56.955-07:00

Somehow, my kids knew that today was a good day to make me laugh.First, this morning: E, 10, has been in a musical theater mood lately. We were sitting at our side-by-side computers at the desk in the kitchen, and he was humming to himself. Do you know Hair? Yes, lots of kid-inappropriate material for sure, but I can't deny my child "Aquarius" or "Let the Sun Shine" in good conscience. I figure

Erika Kerekeshttps://profiles.google.com/114583964611074498819noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372018559252100632.post-85078275368890299902009-03-25T17:59:00.001-07:002009-03-25T18:07:44.230-07:00

My younger son's nose was running when I picked him up at school today. What do you think my first thought was?For those of you who guessed "Oh, you poor baby" -- nope. Try again.What's that? You think it was "What can I do to help this boy feel better soon?" Uh, no.Oh, so you say it must have been: "Wow, I hope he's better in time for our trip to Mexico this Saturday. It would be so miserable

Erika Kerekeshttps://profiles.google.com/114583964611074498819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372018559252100632.post-66338093377217272842009-03-12T18:38:00.001-07:002009-03-12T18:45:38.476-07:00

I would like to say thank you to my unbelievable husband M, for:Teaching E to play the cello. I never thought it would work for father to take son on as a student. It never would have worked if I'd been the parent doing the teaching.Having the patience to practice with E almost every day for the past three years. E is not always the perfect student (well, what kid is?), and because his teacher is

Erika Kerekeshttps://profiles.google.com/114583964611074498819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372018559252100632.post-48450247014946718622009-03-05T16:21:00.000-08:002009-03-05T17:13:59.375-08:00

After eight years at home with my kids, I am going back to work.The decision itself wasn't a hard one; things changed in our family, and it was necessary. And, truthfully, I feel like Cinderella at the ball, because the job I'm going to start in a few weeks will be terrific. I'll discuss the specifics another time, but the high points are:It's directly in my area of expertise - developing new

Erika Kerekeshttps://profiles.google.com/114583964611074498819noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372018559252100632.post-3062198811759842992009-02-11T20:13:00.000-08:002009-02-11T20:21:02.812-08:00

Had a very interesting conversation with E the other day about the definition of "virgin." He was quite sure he knew what it meant, but about three sentences into our talk I had my doubts. So I asked him to define it, and he said, "It's someone who's never been married."Uh-huh. Sort of. Kinda on the right track. Right?We've had the sex talk before, at an age-appropriate level, about a year ago.

Erika Kerekeshttps://profiles.google.com/114583964611074498819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372018559252100632.post-3296867393905583432009-02-04T12:55:00.001-08:002009-02-04T12:58:54.787-08:00

E's reaction to his school basketball team's loss to another local private school earlier this week:"It was great! We only lost by 16 points! We held them to 18 points! [Do the math: This means they lost 18-2.] We lost by a lot less than our first game!"Gotta give him credit for a great attitude.

Erika Kerekeshttps://profiles.google.com/114583964611074498819noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372018559252100632.post-83992033990765121942009-01-31T16:50:00.000-08:002009-01-31T16:55:15.873-08:00

Guess what I learned today?Pokemon characters breed. Just what we needed in our house - Pokemon sex.My husband assures me it's done in a PG-rated way. According to E, you put the boy Pokemon and the girl Pokemon you want to procreate in the day care center, and they grow levels (whatever that means - I think it has to do with power). Finally, you get an egg, even if the two mating Pokemon are of

Erika Kerekeshttps://profiles.google.com/114583964611074498819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372018559252100632.post-6092735710957143662009-01-19T20:16:00.001-08:002009-01-19T20:17:22.906-08:00

When my boys have pimples and underarm hair and body odor, will I love their physical beings as much as I do now, when they are smooth and silky and sweet-smelling?

Erika Kerekeshttps://profiles.google.com/114583964611074498819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372018559252100632.post-12966229991113146172009-01-16T08:35:00.000-08:002009-01-16T08:41:27.977-08:00

Last night I spent 10 minutes with 10-year-old E before he went to sleep, massaging his arms and shoulders, playing with his hair, and tracing the lines of his eyebrows over and over. So relaxing for him. So relaxing for me. He was almost asleep when I left, but just awake enough to smile with his eyes closed and melt me with a soft "I love you, Mommy."As I closed his door, my first thought was:

Erika Kerekeshttps://profiles.google.com/114583964611074498819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372018559252100632.post-15626075698362067892009-01-14T16:56:00.000-08:002009-01-14T17:08:09.689-08:00

Should I worry that my seven-year-old doesn't seem to want to come home anymore?Let me start by telling you how lucky we are (he is). One of his best friends from school lives around the corner. Literally. Around the corner. Three houses down, one house over. So close that when W needs to be picked up I can send E by himself to get him. This is ideal for impromptu playdates, carpool, and trading

Erika Kerekeshttps://profiles.google.com/114583964611074498819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372018559252100632.post-66824297912227097292009-01-12T16:34:00.001-08:002009-01-12T16:43:03.670-08:00

E, who turned 10 yesterday, is often ruled by his appetite, as I think I've mentioned once or twice before. And so, when he declared that he wanted to celebrate his birthday this year with a dinner party for a handful of his friends, I wasn't really surprised. He likes to eat, thus he assumes his friends like to eat, and what better way to celebrate a momentous occasion than - to eat?He was very

Erika Kerekeshttps://profiles.google.com/114583964611074498819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372018559252100632.post-74028228417234690022009-01-07T13:27:00.000-08:002009-01-07T13:38:08.641-08:00

Lately I have been feeling very guilty for being a bad listener.I know it's because I'm distracted by other, larger things - the economy and its effect on our personal pocketbooks, my recent push to find a paying job, health issues. That isn't an excuse, though. It's just wrong that one of my kids starts talking and I find myself nodding and saying "Yep, uh-huh, really!" and I have no idea what

Erika Kerekeshttps://profiles.google.com/114583964611074498819noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372018559252100632.post-6141759870680250072008-12-28T19:32:00.000-08:002008-12-28T19:52:41.718-08:00

W, at almost seven, announced a few months ago that he likes Lego. We parents were unprepared for this, because E, who is three years older, was the unorthodox little boy: no building toys, no cars, no trains, no crafts or art projects, no typical boy stuff. Ever. He liked books, maps, doing addition and subtraction with negative numbers (no kidding), and counting in five languages. Actually,

Erika Kerekeshttps://profiles.google.com/114583964611074498819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372018559252100632.post-68312740826589471412008-12-27T10:54:00.000-08:002008-12-27T11:00:35.871-08:00

Two weeks at home for the holidays with very few plans: It had the potential to be awful. E and W have not, historically, been great with unscheduled time. It has led in the past to whining, too much screen time, and general levels of uncooperativeness.Maybe they're growing up.So far (and it's only been a week, but still), they are getting along terrifically. Playing together quite a lot. Very

Erika Kerekeshttps://profiles.google.com/114583964611074498819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372018559252100632.post-57589601710444604782008-12-23T07:58:00.000-08:002008-12-23T21:11:47.728-08:00

E, at almost 10, has just figured out that:I am writing blogs.He can read them.He can comment on them, both verbally and online.I'm probably not going to change what I'm writing much because of his comments.This appears to be somewhat frustrating to him.For example, he has a problem with curse words, both spoken and in print. I, however, am a grownup, and I will curse if I feel it is appropriate,

Erika Kerekeshttps://profiles.google.com/114583964611074498819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372018559252100632.post-57495763907676869282008-12-22T18:41:00.000-08:002008-12-22T18:45:39.913-08:00

Have I mentioned that E, at almost 10, has a job?He works as a mother's helper for a family down the street. They have a five-year-old girl and a three-year-old boy. The mom or nanny is always home when E goes over there, but he keeps the kids entertained for hours at a time, I'm told. The boy is a superhero nut, a stage E never went through, but somewhere along the line my guy has developed the

Erika Kerekeshttps://profiles.google.com/114583964611074498819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372018559252100632.post-68540020126524019592008-12-19T16:23:00.000-08:002008-12-19T16:27:02.437-08:00

Winter break starts today. Two weeks of not much planned. On purpose, because travel seemed unappealing at first and out of the question as of late. Other families seem to be staying home too, thus playdates, multi-family dinners, etc.Here's the issue. How much screen time will it take to keep E and W occupied and satisfied without turning them into zombie monsters?Our normal non-school-day limit

Erika Kerekeshttps://profiles.google.com/114583964611074498819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372018559252100632.post-51416153122450341632008-12-18T11:05:00.000-08:002008-12-18T11:14:41.534-08:00

I've had some health issues over the past month. Not my fault, on the mend, doing everything I can, great support from husband and family and friends, etc.But of course I worry about the effect it's having on my kids. Mom in the hospital for a week: How does a 10-year-old deal with that? What about a seven-year-old? Will they spend the rest of their lives thinking of me as Sick Mommy? Will they

Erika Kerekeshttps://profiles.google.com/114583964611074498819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372018559252100632.post-77369911652995630332008-02-21T13:22:00.000-08:002008-02-21T13:30:21.247-08:00

E was very upset after school a few days ago, crabby and snapping and even crying as the day wore on. When I finally got him to talk about it, he said that two of the girls in his class were picking on him, and that this had been going on for a while.Ah, the joys of fourth-grade girls.I am the first to admit that it's a good thing I have boys. No way would I have wanted to relive my extremely

Erika Kerekeshttps://profiles.google.com/114583964611074498819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372018559252100632.post-50648588107720424742008-02-13T04:35:00.000-08:002008-02-13T04:41:24.989-08:00

Last week I instituted a new morning habit for E and W. It came out of sheer frustration -- that is, my growing intolerance for their bickering. E, in particular, talks to W in such a nasty, condescending tone sometimes, especially in the carpool, that I want to scream. And do, often.Anyway, one morning I decided that perhaps some positive visualization might help. So, before getting ready for

Erika Kerekeshttps://profiles.google.com/114583964611074498819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372018559252100632.post-90164774945395061872008-01-16T07:36:00.000-08:002008-01-16T07:52:35.916-08:00

As I suspected many months ago, the biggest challenge after taking E out of gymnastics is finding him enough exercise. Despite best efforts, I believe I am failing on that account.Since he left his competitive gymnastics team last spring, E has put on about 15 pounds. He is still my gorgeous boy, and I adore him, but he is definitely fleshy. Everywhere. He is now wearing husky pants, because I

Erika Kerekeshttps://profiles.google.com/114583964611074498819noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372018559252100632.post-67326146679519887152007-06-03T10:07:00.000-07:002007-06-03T10:12:50.727-07:00

Last night, before I went to bed, I left a note for W on the dining room table. The note said:W - please do not wake me up until 8:00. We came home late. I need to sleep. Love, MommyAnd guess what? He came to wake me up at 8:01. And proceeded to read me my note.I think I started to cry. (I'm not sure, because I was still half asleep.)

Erika Kerekeshttps://profiles.google.com/114583964611074498819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372018559252100632.post-12280569883883573022007-06-01T08:50:00.000-07:002007-06-01T08:54:55.913-07:00

This morning in the car E said, "Hey Mom, guess what? I think I've been biting my nails less lately."I have been trying to ignore this habit of his, but it's hard. Since he was three he has been gnawing on his nails constantly. I believe entire months went by in his sixth and seventh years when his fingers did not leave his lips except to eat.It struck me, this morning, that E started biting his

Erika Kerekeshttps://profiles.google.com/114583964611074498819noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372018559252100632.post-60665444662430869852007-06-01T08:35:00.000-07:002007-06-01T08:50:44.305-07:00

The kids are happy as clams.However, two days ago I woke up in a dark, dark mood. I'm assuming it's hormonal and it will lift on its own, so I've been pushing through. Self-medicating with chocolate, knitting and reruns of "Law & Order."It is not the first time this has happened. It usually lasts for a few days. But it is the very first time I have been so aware of how my mood is affecting my

Erika Kerekeshttps://profiles.google.com/114583964611074498819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372018559252100632.post-49025762724105886932007-05-24T17:31:00.000-07:002007-05-24T17:38:14.163-07:00

W, at five, is very picky about what we listen to while driving. He has his favorites among the kid CDs, but the passion of the moment is a five-song mini-album by The Naked Brothers Band, a group of grade-school boys with a show on Nickelodeon. Even I like that one. However, I like it much less after hearing it every day five or six times through. So sometimes I put my foot down, tell him it's

Erika Kerekeshttps://profiles.google.com/114583964611074498819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372018559252100632.post-65340909614634523602007-05-22T09:41:00.000-07:002007-05-25T21:54:32.872-07:00

A few weeks ago, E and I decided together that it was time for him to leave his gymnastics team.When I say "together," I mean that I suggested it, and after thinking about it for a few days, he agreed.I am having very, very mixed feelings about this decision. E too.On the one hand: E has been doing gymnastics continuously for five years. He is not anywhere near the best one on his team. He is

Erika Kerekeshttps://profiles.google.com/114583964611074498819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372018559252100632.post-34572402596114970842007-05-16T19:35:00.000-07:002007-05-16T19:39:06.249-07:00

I had an interesting discussion with E's school psychologist today, sparked by the homework battles detailed in posts past. Her take -- and she admits that she is pretty much alone among the faculty -- is that homework for eight-year-olds is crap. Ridiculous. Completely unnecessary.I love this woman with all my heart.

Erika Kerekeshttps://profiles.google.com/114583964611074498819noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372018559252100632.post-79823310559755595722007-05-07T19:36:00.000-07:002007-05-16T19:35:21.777-07:00

W has overcome his fear of swimming and now, in a fashion, can swim across the pool. We signed him up for an intensive 10-lesson program. In the first lesson he consented to putting his whole head underwater. By the third lesson he was "swimming" across the pool. I use quotation marks because he's still doing a modified, thrashing doggie paddle, with very audible bubble-blowing. It's pretty

Erika Kerekeshttps://profiles.google.com/114583964611074498819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372018559252100632.post-26414493189896495742007-05-04T07:21:00.000-07:002007-05-04T07:24:19.941-07:00

This morning when I got up I found W at the dining room table with 1) a bowl of milk and 2) an overflowing bowl of those ABC cookies from Costco that come in the huge barrel. Not sure how many had already gone down the hatch, but there were at least 50 in the bowl awaiting consumption. He was furious when I explained that one cannot eat so many cookies for breakfast and be a healthy person.He is

Erika Kerekeshttps://profiles.google.com/114583964611074498819noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372018559252100632.post-2654532073346349842007-05-03T19:21:00.000-07:002007-05-03T20:24:03.226-07:00

Please tell me that summer vacation is right around the corner. Because I am completely ready for this homework crap to end.No, I am not doing E's homework for him. No, I am not doing E's homework with him. But how far am I supposed to go to prod, cause, encourage, coax, remind, bribe him to do his f***ing homework?I am having a lot of trouble figuring out this particular parenting skill. I've

Erika Kerekeshttps://profiles.google.com/114583964611074498819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372018559252100632.post-78780880647268139812007-04-17T19:55:00.000-07:002007-04-17T19:59:42.139-07:00

Have I mentioned that I like to cook? I do. A lot.If you're ever faced with leftover salmon, try this:Greek Salmon CakesMix together leftover cooked salmon (baked, roasted, poached, whatever), chopped scallions, chopped dill, crumbled feta cheese, a squeeze of lemon juice, some breadcrumbs, an egg, and a dollop of mayonnaise.Form into patties with your hands. Coat the patties with more

Erika Kerekeshttps://profiles.google.com/114583964611074498819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372018559252100632.post-73588838892409221902007-04-16T19:27:00.000-07:002007-04-16T19:40:04.288-07:00

Why, oh why do I have such a problem with spilled drinks?I know that the rational reaction when a five-year-old topples a cup of juice is a resigned "Oh well." And yet -- despite myself, before I even realize it -- I say something that clearly shows my exasperation and, I'm sure, makes W feel like crap for having knocked over his cup.Bad mommy. Bad, bad Crabby Mommy.Even worse, over the weekend W

Erika Kerekeshttps://profiles.google.com/114583964611074498819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372018559252100632.post-85768643310627188692007-04-15T19:12:00.000-07:002007-04-15T19:29:20.001-07:00

It's a little of a misnomer. I'm not always crabby.But more often than I'd prefer, these days.I thought perhaps if I spent a little more time reflecting I'd have less time for the actual crabbiness. And less inclination. I find that crabby becomes a habit, and it's a habit I'd like to break.Today was an ultra-crabby day, at least until about 2pm. More on that later. Now, think about the good

Erika Kerekeshttps://profiles.google.com/114583964611074498819noreply@blogger.com0