Friday, May 28, 2010

Writing with censors

I know it seems as if I've abandoned this space. In my mind, I have not. Issues come up every day about my role as parent, and I want to write about them - I frame them in my mind, give them a headline, explore the arc of the story, think about my grand conclusions.

There's a problem. It's very hard to write about parenting and your children when your children read every word you write.

On the one hand, it's probably better that I can no longer talk about them behind their backs. That's a bit rude, don't you think? We teach them not to do it to their friends, and yet there wouldn't be mommy bloggers without children to write about.

On the other hand, it has removed a certain sense of freedom I once had (stupid and misguided, I now realize) to explore all the parenting issues in my life in public. I don't want to have to ask permission to write about the things my boys and I are facing together, and yet it seems necessary - because they're sure to find out at some point.

I wonder how other mommy bloggers handle this once their kids are old enough to follow their blogs? If you're out there, mommy bloggers, do tell.


Anonymous said...

Erika--Wow! I followed links at SheWrites and ended up here! Imagine my surprise to find that you've written today about something so closely on my mind. I had to leave behind writing about my children. When they were younger, they were oh, so proud whenever they heard themselves mentioned on Vermont Public Radio. These days (now that they're 21 and almost 18) I wouldn't think about writing about them--even though launching them has been dramatic, painful, and turned my life upside down (largely for the better, mind you, but it has not always felt that way as it happened). Actually, I would THINK about writing about them, but I could never get up the nerve to ask their permission. Is this what individuation is all about? (But ... wasn't that supposed to happen when they learned to walk?)--Rebecca Coffey

Erika said...

I'm so glad to hear I'm not the only one facing this issue. It's frustrating, because I'd really LIKE to be able to write about my parenting issues. But somehow it feels like it would come back to bite me in the ass.